All Metaphysics

What feels the best, love or hate? Seriously think about how each of these feelings resonate with you. When I feel love it comes in many different forms. I can feel overwhelmed, tears welling up in my eyes and a lump in my throat. Love can make me feel giddy and very present in the moment and it can also make me feel at rest and energized at the same time. On the other hand hate feels like fire in my brain and it spreads to my whole body, triggering a physical reaction in jerking movements with exaggerated urgency. Hate feels like pain all over and also fear sometimes. However, just like Love, Hate can also bring quick tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. Explore how each of these make you feel, both physically and mentally.

Obviously, most of us would rather feel Love and not Hate. It’s so easy to say things like “I choose love over hate”, and yet the process is actually not so simple. One of the things I struggled with for a long time was leaving behind my feelings of hate, distrust, and anger. Sounds like I had a lot of crap to overcome but in reality I am pretty normal! Most of us have this kind of “stuff” in our lives. The best thing I learned was that I had a choice how I felt and responded.

A choice sounds really good if it could be a switch we would just flick from one side to the other. If only it were that easy. There is a way to make it easier however and I want to share this with you. The most important thing to acknowledge is that we were given feelings for a reason! It’s not ok to say that it’s not ok to feel a certain way! Anger and hate are legitimate feelings we should not ignore. Everything we feel is a lesson for our intuition to learn from, mold from and design our future thought processes. Feeling angry and hateful can help mold our intuition into not getting dooped again or withstanding certain pressures and expectations that were harmful before. Just like love and happiness teaches us what we actually want more of in our lives, hate and anger teaches us what we want to stay away from.

With this thought process in mind, think about if you were to allow yourself to feel all the feelings with no self deprecation about feeling it. Allow yourself the time to feel it, sit in it, experience the pain, disgust, rage or whatever you are feeling. As you do this though, I want you to set a time limit. “I will give myself 10 minutes to feel this crap and then I’m moving on”, or you may need a few hours or a day or two days, but set the limit and stick to it. You may find yourself moving on before the time is up as you watch the clock or timer. It’s healthy to feel the feelings, all of them. It’s even more healthy when we feel them freely and then after our self prescribed time limit we set them aside.

Do we forget the feelings and forgive all after the time limit we set is up? Heck no! We learn from it but we don’t continue to relive it because that only hurts YOU. My next post will be about re-telling our stories and revictimizing ourselves, this will touch on all the reasons we need to set our time limits and get going with how we would rather feel!

I want to share what I have learned over a long period of time of trial and error to get to a point where I win most of those battles of choice, not all, but most. Being human means we are not only going to experience these feelings but we are designed to for a reason! Each emotion we have is a gift and we need to listen to it for the purposes of our own preservation. Being distrustful is often your intuition telling you to be careful and we need to always listen to that. Listening to it and acting like an ass about it though are two different things! What do I mean by that? I mean listen to your distrust and choose to not expose yourself to unfortunate encounters and such. Being an ass about your distrust means to not only mentally and physically display your feelings to others but you end up also needing to clear your own energy out because it effected you that bad!

“Hate is a strong word”, most of us have heard this phrase or one similar. Why is hate a strong word though? I believe it is a strong word because its at the bottom of a spectrum. Just like love is at the top. It’s harder to get better than love and it’s equally as hard to get worse than hate, right? So here is the cool thing about hate and being at the bottom of that scale for a minute. Hate makes us appreciate love in a way that something you weren’t sure was love, actually is! Here is an example of that, you like spending time with good people that are like minded and want to do the same stuff you like. You all go camping, to movies, local events or whatnot and you have a really good time doing these things. Once you have an experience that is less than that, maybe even horrible, you hate it, and you realize that all those others experiences are pure love! Pure love of life and everything you have good in yours.

How do we get more of that? More love means less feelings of hate and that means less depression, less anxiety, less feelings of rage and irritation. There are more words we could be using here and each of us can probably come up with a good sized list. Getting more love though doesn’t mean we ignore those feelings when they arise, quite the opposite which is surprising! Once we start practicing listening to these feelings we will be able to “choose” love over hate and feel better.

Here is how it works. Once you realize you are feeling it, its creeping in on you, building up and causing that stress you recognize as hate, irritation or whatever you label it, sit with it for a few minutes. Set a timer, give yourself 5 minutes to experience the sensation of these negative feelings. Don’t plot the death of your nemesis in those 5 minutes, just feel the frustration of the hate in your body. As you feel the feelings pay close attention to your body and mind and their reaction to the feelings. When the 5 minutes is up take a really deep breathe in through your nose and out your mouth. As you do it four or five times close your eyes and imagine with each breathe in your bringing in pure clean light, purging your insides and releasing all the toxins on your out breathe.

Choose now, think of something or things you love and would rather think about and rather feel. This takes practice and those other feelings might start creeping in again but don’t be discouraged. Just take another breathe and purge it again. get up and don’t dwell on it. Accept the feelings as a warning to you and just an event, not a feeling that has to cause you grief and linger. Accepting the fact that you are supposed to feel some feelings like this that are negative and destructive is the biggest step to take and after that it’s just an observation.

If you observe something you pay attention to it, learn from it, form opinions that can mold future decisions. Observation however does NOT make you into something. Making yourself into a bitter hateful person is something you have to choose, this process allows you to feel it, observe it and then choose how you’d rather feel. This does not mean you walk around willfully accepting everyone and everything that hurt you etc, it means you observed it, didn’t like it at all and are now choosing to feel better. If you need to give yourself 5 more minutes later in the day then do it!

The metaphysical response that ties it all together and allows you to work this system effectively is to recite this mantra as you’re about to choose the better feelings,” Release me from this bondage of hate, I know I am healing, I am filled with gratitude for this, and so it is”.