All Metaphysics

You know that feeling when you’re traveling down a road that you haven’t been on in a very long time and you are just hit by nostalgia? Then in a burst of new feelings you realize you’re glad you don’t travel that road anymore? It’s not unusual to experience both sensations real close to each other. I can remember specifically one of these incidences that happened to me several years ago.

While going to see family where I grew up in Minnesota, I was traveling along a road that brought back so many memories of a time in my life, not just the place, but a time when I lived there. In some ways I was grieving the loss of a time long gone and wondering what it would be like to still be there. I felt comfort in thoughts of returning home and a comfort zone in what once was. Than in a flash I felt a sense of relief that I wasn’t still traveling that road, it confused me at first.

As I sat with the old and then the new feelings about my past, I realized that I had just outgrown it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying in the same place if it brings you joy. There is also nothing wrong with moving on if that brings you joy! Coming to terms with what you had and now have, is the main reveal here. Knowing that the feelings are a normal reaction to outgrowing our past can sometimes be uneasy to say the least, however, it can also be comforting. Outgrowing your past can be complicated though, especially if you’re still living in it.

These feelings also come up with people, not just places. You know how an old friend that you don’t see very often get’s in touch with you and it’s like time never came between you? You pick up like old times and have a very strong connection, like you have always remained in touch even if it’s been a year or longer. Obviously this feels GREAT and we thrive on this kind of relationship. On the other side of the fence though, you run into someone you used to be close to and you start feeling uncomfortable and the conversation is stilted and you are not sad when you both say goodbye. The interaction feels weird, as this old friend talks about things they are still partaking in and you have lost any interest in, you realize you have changed. I think of that as a sign that we have outgrown this friendship/person/time in our life. That isn’t really a bad thing, might be the best thing ever actually.

Think about people, places and things you have outgrown and decide if you are still stuck there or if you have really moved forward. Being stuck in outgrown areas is often the cause to some form of distress. Depression, anxiety, feelings of loneliness and maybe even not liking yourself can stem from these feelings, not always but they can be part of it. Now, I am by no means advocating for telling your people that you have outgrown them so you’re no longer interested in a relationship etc! Knowing in your heart that YOU have changed and allowing a natural flow to take over in your evolution is where it’s at. Going forward with the knowledge that it’s ok for you to change and evolve is life changing.

Outgrowing our clothes can feel bad, aint gunna lie about that, but outgrowing our past can feel really good. One reason it can feel good is that any time that we evolve and change our brains to expand our world, we are not just surviving, we are thriving. Remember the old saying about we are who we hang out with? That goes for people hanging around you too! I really don’t think that the majority of us set out to outgrow our past necessarily. We just keep evolving, so start to think of it as us being able to bring our people and experiences with us into our evolution, however, remember that some will come along…. and some we will outgrow.